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minimusestitle: sinners
pairing: Joe/always-a-girl!Nick
rating: NC-17
warning: EVEN MORE incesty genderfuck! Also: religion. DUN DUN DUNNNN!!
summary: Instilling fear and incestuous tendencies in your children, one guilt trip at a time.
date: 10/23/10
notes: Again, this would NOT exist in any capacity without![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
theskyturnsred; after I finished Jo/Nick, she was like, "SO YOU'RE WRITING JOE/GIRL!NICK NOW, RIGHT?" And then I was. ^_^ <3
Mom confronted Nikki about it after she found the nail polish bottles under her bed.
Nik had no earthly idea how her mom could possibly have known that was what she was using them for if she had not gotten up to the same kind of stuff as a fourteen-year-old herself. But it wouldn't be the first time Nik had inherited a rule in spite of breathtaking hypocrisy, and Nik knew it probably wouldn't be the last. But this was one of the worst.
Nikki lay curled up in her bed for the entire rest of the day after mom took her into her bedroom to have a long, firm talk with her, and all the words mom had used about sin and perversion and purity spun around in Nik's head, making her dizzy and crushing her with guilt. She'd cried for a long time, and refused both Kevin and Frankie entry when they came by to ask what was wrong.
Joe didn't come by until after Nik had had done crying, obviously knowing that she needed to get that out first. When she just lay there shivering and miserable afterward, then Joe let himself in, not asking permission and not waiting for Nikki to give it before clicking the door shut behind him and coming across the room to crawl in and curl up behind Nik, wrapping his arm around her waist, strong and secure. Nik took a shuddery breath, let it out.
"Wanna talk, Nikki?" Joe murmured, voice deep, even, and soothing.
Nik didn't reply for a long minute. Finally she said, "I don't wanna go to hell, Joey," in a voice that cracked despite her best efforts, to her embarrassment. She cleared her throat.
She could practically feel Joe's frown behind her. "Good," he said softly, rubbing gently at her stomach. "Cause you're not going."
Nik sighed, wishing she could smile, which was obviously Joe's goal. But she didn't have it in her. She lay there quietly for another several seconds, gathering up courage and trying to find the words through her thick embarrassment. "I...mom. She caught me, um. Like, uh. Do you ever. Um." She felt her face prickle with heat, lowered her tone to a whisper. "Do you ever...touch your privates, Joe?"
Joe blinked; Nik could feel his eyelashes catch gently against her hair. "Like, to make myself feel good? Have an orgasm? Of course I do. Everybody does."
Nik felt herself get a little tonguetied with Joe's bluntness, blushing even harder and turning her face into her pillow a little, half-hiding. "N-no. I don't...I don't think so, Joe. Or, well. Do you...don't you think it's a sin?"
"What? No, of course not. Nik...did mom catch you doing that?"
"...um. Not. Not exactly. She found..." She couldn't say it, couldn't actually tell her brother she was putting her nail polish bottles inside her own body, trying to get herself off. It didn't work all the time, even then, but they worked better than her fingers.
"A toy?" Joe asked, more softly, obviously conscious of her shyness. He petted at her long curls, all mussed and tangled from lying in her bed crying.
"Yeah. Sort of. N-nail polish." Nik thought she might die of embarrassment, but Joe only shifted a little, hugged her tighter, rubbing his nose into the hair at the back of her neck.
"Did she yell at you?" he asked, even more quietly. Nik's breath hitched painfully, hiccuping a little leftover sob even though she couldn't possibly cry anymore.
"She, she told me it was a sin. That...that god means us to keep ourselves pure for our husbands. She said...she said no boy would want d-damaged goods." Okay, well, apparently she could cry some more, tears welling up in her already-swollen eyes. "A-and that...that...masturbation was just another sex act, a step toward a bigger sin, and, and that made it a sin too." She said it like a dirty word; it tasted like one in her mouth.
"Oh, Nikki," Joe said, sounding sad. "No."
Nik sniffled a little, rubbing at her nose, not really wanting to cry in front of her brother, even though she knew he wouldn't mind. "No? But, Joe--"
"Nikki," he said again, and his voice was firm; not stern, not scolding, but not up for argument either. "Your body is God's most magnificent creation," he said, and even though it was something Nik had heard her dad, her Sunday school teachers, her Steven Curtis Chapman cds say a hundred thousand times before, it had never struck her as quite so inescapably true before. Joe said it like it was a part of who she was, like he was paying her a compliment. It made her blush some more, but much more from pleasure than embarrassment. "And God," he continued, "made your body to feel this stuff. Nothing that you're feeling is wrong or weird or abnormal, kiddo. You're just a normal teenage girl, and God doesn't want you to be ignorant about your body either. That's why He made it possible for you to touch yourself and figure out how your body works on your own. Because sex stuff can be really scary, and you should know as much as you possibly can about how you work so that you know when something's gone wrong. Y'know?"
Nik didn't agree, but she didn't argue either. That sounded reasonable, but...
"And besides," Joe said, in a softer tone, his breath stirring Nick's curls and making her shiver a little at the sensation, "God wouldn't have made it to feel so good if he didn't want us to feel good doing it. God doesn't make mistakes, Nikki, and he doesn't intentionally dangle good stuff in front of us only to tell us we can't have it. That's not the kind of God you wanna serve, right?"
Nik frowned, leaning back a little to look at Joe out of the corner of her eye. "But...what if it does make me do bigger, worse things?"
"Nik, you're the one in control of your own body," Joe told her, leaning up to kiss her cheek, a lock of his silky straightened hair falling down and brushing the corner of her mouth. "You're the one who makes the decisions about what you do and don't do with it. Your body doesn't just do stuff on its own, and doing one thing with it doesn't automatically mean something else will happen." He grinned. "You're a pretty smart girl, or so I've heard anyway. You're not gonna let your body get away with any shenanigans without your permission."
Nik rolled her eyes, finally managing a little quirk of her lips. Joe's grin broadened, like it was a personal triumph. "Joe. There will be no shenanigans of any kind," she said, in the dry tone she used when she was pretending not to find Joe ridiculously charming. He knew it, too, kissing her on the cheek once more, noisily.
"Awww, no shenanigans at all? You're a growing girl, Nikki. You have to have a few shenanigans in your life."
Nik frowned and shrunk a little in on herself. "No," she said quietly. "I think I'm really pretty much done with...shenanigans," she swallowed convulsively, "for the time being."
Joe's smile faltered and he moved his hand to her bicep, squeezing at her there, trying to be reassuring. But she was crestfallen, again, sunk into the mire of self-blame. "Aw, Nik," he said, propping his chin on her shoulder. "You can't be like that. You can't...you can't let mom and dad get to you like that. It's..." He made a frustrated sound. "It's easy for them to say this stuff about how you should live your life. They don't have to deal with the stuff you do. They aren't teenagers anymore. They're married. They've got 'the right' outlets for the feelings you and me have to deal with every day. They've made their mistakes and their choices, and they think...I dunno, that that qualifies them to make those same decisions for you, just to stop you maybe making mistakes. That's no way to live your life, Nikki. They think they're doin' you a favor, but..." He sighed, shook Nik's shoulder a little.
"Don't be scared, Nikki, okay? You're doing...you're doing fine. You're such a good person. You're my favorite person, you know?" His voice was a little gruff with emotion, and Nikki just wanted to turn into his arms, bury her face in his chest like she used to do when she was five, and just not have to face anything scary again. She didn't, though, just lay there still and quiet, feeling afraid even with Joe telling her not to. "I don't want you to grow up freaked out by your own body, Nik. It's...you're so normal, you just have no idea. I know that probably does not help as much as it should, because, hello, you're Nicolette Jonas, you are a special snowflake genius child prodigy, you don't do normal. But you are. You're just like...just like me, and Kev, and mom and dad when they were our age, and you've got to grow up into your own person, Nikki, who makes her own decisions about herself. I mean...I mean, think of it this way," he tried, rubbing at her arm with her thumb. "When you do grow up someday, and you get married to your Prince Charming, don't you want to be happy with him? Like, with the sex you have with him?" Nik squirmed a bit uncomfortably, embarrassed, but Joe pressed on. "And how is he supposed to know what makes you happy if you don't even know, yourself? If it helps, you can think of it like that. Like...practice for marriage."
Nik didn't have a good argument for why that was wrong, Joe, that's not the way it's done, but she knew it just wasn't that simple. Couldn't be. Not after being torn open and laid bare by her mom; she couldn't escape the dirty feeling of it now. She thought she might never escape it.
"Maybe," she offered, but mostly in a way that meant, Whatever, Joe. Just leave it be. Joe sighed. Then he nodded and kissed her hair once more, wrapping both his arms tight around Nikki's tiny waist and hugging her tightly, squirming a little bit with her like he was trying to wrestle her around. Nik went obligingly dead-weight in his arms, making Joe huff out in exertion, laughing. "Oof, Nicolette Snowflake. You got big on me. I don't remember giving you permission to grow up."
"It was in the fine print of the Brotherhood Contract you signed when I was born," Nik replied on autopilot, appreciating her brother's effort, even if it didn't quite nestle down next to her heart like usual. "Shoulda got a better lawyer, Josephine."
He laughed, quiet, subdued, but genuine. He ruffled her hair the way she hated and propped up on one elbow, patting her hip. "C'mon, Nikki. Wanna go downstairs for dinner?"
Nik immediately shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I'm not hungry."
"Aw, c'mon, Nikki--"
"Joe. I'm not hungry." Her voice was a little bit hard in warning. Joe took it, though he sighed again.
"Alright. I'll come back and check on you later." Joe swung his legs over the side of the bed and Nik heard him padding across her floor, felt the change in the air circulation as he opened the door. "Hey, Nikki?"
"I love you too, Joseph," she said, soft and affectionate. "Thank you."
"Anytime, little sis."
***
Nikki didn't mean to fall asleep, but her eyes felt itchy and heavy and she was exhausted from crying. The next thing she knew, she was opening her eyes groggily to see that her alarm clock read 12:42 in dim lime green and something had woken her up from an uneasy sleep.
"Nikki?" came the Joe-like whisper, and even half-asleep, Nik smiled. She reached back, uncoordinated, and plucked up the blankets behind her, flipping them down and patting the bed. The mattress dipped and Joe slid in behind Nik again, Nikki's head swimming a little with deja vu as Joe spooned up close behind her. He felt warmer than he had before and Nik wondered if he'd come from his bed. She reached back to tuck him in and felt the soft, worn cotton of an old t-shirt and boxers, so she guessed he had.
"'S this your checkup?" Nik asked him, voice gruff with sleep, her smile tugging up her lips.
"Yup," Joe said, quietly cheerful, banding her waist around with his arm again, burrowing his hand with its too-cold fingers up under her shirt to press against her sleep-warm belly. She hissed and jerked backwards a little, nesting her ass into the cradle of Joe's thighs. She could feel his dick soft under his shorts against the back of her thigh and quickly thought about his cold hand instead.
"Jeez, Joe," she muttered, scowling, and Joe sniggered behind her, because he was twelve. "Ugh. I don't even know why I like you."
"Because I am a sexy beast," Joe said. "Also, you're obligated."
"Definitely it's the sexiness that won me over," Nik said sarcastically, smoothing her shirt down over his hand. They lay there quietly for a while, Joe's fingers trailing idly up and down her belly, tracing her navel and making goosebumps pop up on her skin. Then Nikki said, "So how mad were mom and dad?"
"Dunno," Joe said, shrugging, but Nik knew that wasn't true; that was just Joe's way of trying to protect her. She waited him out; eventually, he said, "I guess, on a scale of 'that time I broke the lamp' to 'that time Kevin decided to go to a state school and study fashion', you probably rank...'that time I made all Fs on a report card.'" He squeezed her a little, rucking up her shirt again and ignoring her protests just so he could trace big spirals on her stomach. She shivered and relaxed. "It's not so bad, Nikki. Really. I think...mom realizes she overreacted. She was really quiet and seemed worried when you didn't come down to dinner. You do need to get up and eat something soon, by the way," he added, poking her in the belly and making her curl up a little, ticklish. "I made you a plate of food and stuck it in the fridge."
"Thanks, Joe," she said, patting his hand on her belly. "I will. And thanks for...covering for me."
"Pfft, I didn't cover for you," he said loftily. "I told mom you were being an emo kid and that I'd told you to cheer up but, as usual, you didn't listen." He sighed sadly, put-upon. "I'm so unappreciated, even by my own little sister."
Nick elbowed him none-too-gently, and Joe retaliated by digging his fingers into her ribs ticklishly, making her squeak and wriggle, trying to get away. "Joe! Joe! C-cut it out!" She giggled and squirmed, more so when Joe's hands grazed over her boobs in her soft knockaround bra, accidentally. "Joe! Seriously!"
"Joe! Seriously!" Joe imitated, in terrible falsetto. He playfully grabbed at Nik's boobs, something he'd done a hundred times before, but Nik, on edge already and unprepared to steel herself against her body's reactions, the way she normally would be, shuddered. "Joe," she said in a softer, helpless voice, and Joe stilled, dropping his hand and settling it on her stomach again.
"It's okay, Nikki," he replied, soothing, in a voice he'd used to calm Nik down after a thousand upsets and disappointments and tantrums. He petted softly at her stomach. "I didn't mean to make you upset."
She didn't say anything, letting Joe's easy ability to read her mind comfort her for a minute or two, until she asked in a tiny voice, "Do...do you think I'm...weird, Joe?"
Joe shook his head. "I told you you aren't, Nik."
"But...do you think that?"
"No," he said immediately. "No, Nikki. I think you're completely perfect in every way. And I think you're too hard on yourself. And I think mom was way too hard on you. And I think you shouldn't let this bother you too much. Mom was wrong about this, okay? I'm telling you. Mom was wrong, and you are not weird. And you're not going to hell or anyplace you don't wanna go just because you're a normal human who likes to make herself feel good. You know I do it."
Nik nodded a little. She'd sort of known. Guessed, really. She didn't know anything specific, though.
"You did know that, right?" Joe asked, making sure.
"Um. Well. I mean. I thought you did, I just...I mean. I wasn't sure if you still did, or if it's just something you did when you were my age, or..."
Joe laughed a little, but it wasn't mocking. "No. I still do. Most people do their whole lives, I'm pretty sure."
Nik's eyes widened. "What, even when they're married?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Joe replied, shrugging. His fingers, always restless because Joe himself was always restless, had gone back to tracing circles on her stomach. "I mean, sometimes your husband or your wife's not there, right?"
"Ummm..." Nik flushed, but she couldn't deny the logic of that.
"And besides, you can still learn things just about yourself, and what you like, even when you're married. Practice makes perfect, Nicolette, after all. I was taught that by a very brilliant sister of mine." He hugged her tight around the middle, nosing at the nape of her neck. She tried not to shiver at how his breath tickled her sensitive skin.
"I guess so," Nik said, a little dubious, but she felt...better, for the first time all day. She felt okay in her skin again, with Joe holding her tight and just...talking about this, like it wasn't nearly as scary as she'd been making it. "So, like...how often do you do it? Is it weird to do it too much?"
"No such thing as too much," Joe said, with utter sincerity. "It's kinda...however much you feel like, y'know? There's not a limit on it. I do it pretty much every day."
Nik bit her lip. "S-so, it's okay if I do it...more than once a day, sometimes? Um."
Joe's fingers stilled on Nik's stomach, and then started moving again after a second, skimming along the strip of bare skin where her pajama shirt gapped above the waistband of her sleep shorts. Nikki's stomach muscles jumped a little, and Joe nodded.
"Yeah, Nik. It's totally okay." She heard Joe wet her lips. "Do you...usually use your nail polish bottles?"
"Mm...sometimes," Nik replied, barely above a whisper. "They're, um. They feel better," she admitted, feeling her blush so hot it was almost unbearable. She couldn't believe she was telling her brother all this, but he just seemed so relaxed about it. Like it really was normal. "Than, than my fingers."
"So you, um." Nik wondered if now Joe was blushing, too, and she almost rolled over to try to tell, to press her knuckles to his face to feel if it was hot. But then she would have had to be looking straight at him, and she didn't think she could manage that. "You like having things inside, then?"
Nik frowned, kind of confused by the question. "That's the way you do it, right? Put things in? Like...well. Like you're pretending it's a boy, right?"
Joe did not immediately reply to that. He shifted a little, moving around beneath the blankets, and then he said softly, like a secret, "That's one way."
Surprised, Nik blinked. She was suddenly very aware of Joe's hot fingertips where they'd stuttered to a stop just below her bellybutton. "There's more than one way?"
Joe puffed out a shaky-sounding breath. "Yeah. Kind of, I mean. Some girls like it better if they just rub their clit and don't, y'know. Put stuff in."
"How do you know?" Nik asked Joe, somewhat tartly. She didn't think it exactly fair that Joe should know something about girls touching themselves that Nik didn't even know, considering Joe was a boy. She did not want to think about how he might've learned those things, either.
"I hear things!" Joe teased. "Guys at school talk. Girls too, sometimes. And...I had a class, too. Mom probably never gave you a class like I had."
"What kind of class was it? And what's a...what'd you say to rub?"
"Your clit?"
Nik was silent, frowning as she tried to figure out what Joe was talking about. The silence was just getting awkward when Joe said, "You don't know what that is?"
Sighing, Nikki rolled away from him a little, scrunching up on herself. She hated being the dumb one, hated not knowing things. Joe made an unhappy noise and moved closer to her again, curling around her almost protectively.
"No, Nikki, I just meant...I thought you knew. It's okay, it's just...your clit is..." He trailed off. "Here," he said softly, tucking his fingertips just under the waistband of Nik's shorts, and before she even knew what he was doing, he'd slid his hand down, cupping it over her gently, not so different from the way Nik touched herself, only her panties were still in the way. She sucked in a sharp breath and flinched back a little.
"Joe, what're you...?"
"I just wanna show you," he said, kissing the back of her head. Nik felt scared and unsure, her skin tingling under Joe's warm fingers, even through the fabric of her underwear. Her whole body tingled. "It's here," he said, and pressed the tip of one of his fingers against her, not back where she normally touched herself, higher up, setting off more tingles and making Nik grab reflexively at his wrist in a bruising grip. "In here."
"I..." Nick bit at her lip. Her fingers loosened around Joe's arm a little. "What. What is it?"
"It feels good," Joe told her quietly, murmuring against her hair. The sound of his voice made her feel less jittery, but she was trembling everywhere, heart hammering. This was bad, this was a sin, this wasn't okay.
It was Joe. Joe had never once not taken care of Nikki.
She swallowed, pressed back a little into Joe. He pressed at her a little harder through her panties, rubbing a tiny bit. Nik gasped.
"Oh," she breathed. It felt...different. More. Bigger. It wasn't the same at all, and it was exactly the same.
"Feels good, right?" Joe asked her in a whisper. Nik nodded immediately, not even stopping to think about it. She could feel Joe smile, and his finger started tracing little circles against her that made shivers race up and down Nik's spine. "Better?"
"Oh, y-yeah, um..." Nik's fingers flexed around Joe's arm, tightening convulsively. She felt like she should push him away, but she didn't actually want to, so she mostly just ended up clinging onto him. "Joe..."
"You can do just this, if you want," Joe murmured quietly. "Or you can do this and put something inside, too. Whatever feels good, Nikki. It's all right." Joe slid his finger up and down against that radiating point that Nik had not even known was there, and then pressed at her with two fingers. Nik made a tiny helpless little sound and moved her hips against his hand involuntarily, grinding against the pressure.
"Nikki," Joe said, sounding out of breath, and as he curled even tighter around her, she felt that his dick was hard against the back of her leg. She gasped, quivering as that made her flush wet down between her legs, without really even understanding why. She understood, though, that that was what a boy felt like before he got inside. That was "erect." She'd never really known what that meant until then.
Joe's fingers slipped against the wet fabric of her panties, now soaked through, making them slick. He hooked his thumb in the waistband of her underwear and tugged it down a little, out of the way, sliding his fingertips down the slit of her body. Suddenly one of his fingertips went in, between her folds, and brushed up against her clit, skin to skin. It made her jump and cry out softly. Joe shushed her very gently, pressing his mouth, warm and wet and open, to the back of her neck, just mouthing there.
"Joe! Joe, that's..." Nikki bit her lip and tried not to rut up against his hand too frantically, wanting that good feeling back.
"Yeah, baby girl, it's okay," Joe intoned, soothing. "Let me." The next time he touched his fingertip to her clit, it was slick and wet, and he only brushed against it so delicately, circling it with maddening little touches. "You gotta be really really gentle. You're really sensitive." He said it almost wonderingly, like he hadn't been expecting that. Nik shuddered involuntarily every time he swept his finger directly over it, whining in her throat and jerking her hips both toward and away from his hand, not sure exactly which she wanted.
"Joe," she whispered, pressing on his hand a little, the way his fingers felt inside her slick folds making her feel desperate for...something. "Joe, I want..." But she didn't know what she wanted, couldn't articulate it.
"Yeah?" he prompted, but seemed to understand after a moment that she had no idea what to say. "Aw, Nikki. See? You gotta learn about this stuff. You wanna know what feels best." He kissed the corner of her jaw, hooking his chin over her shoulder so that there was practically no inch of them not touching. "Do you get yourself off, ever?"
"Huh?" Nik asked, both dizzy from the sensations and unsure what Joe meant by that.
"Do you orgasm?" he corrected himself, voice dipping low - probably out of embarrassment, but the gravelly quality of it sent a hard shiver down Nik's spine and straight to her groin. She moaned and nodded helplessly.
"Y-yeah. Sometimes. Maybe...twice? Or three times?"
"That's all?" Joe said, sounding sad. "Don't you like it?"
"I...it's hard. To do. I like it, but..."
"Hmm," Joe said thoughtfully, and he pushed his hand a little farther into her underwear, forefinger and middle finger slipping down and his thumb coming to touch lightly at her clit instead. Nik dug her fingers involuntarily into Joe's forearm, writhing a little and tipping her head back on Joe's shoulder as he teased at the edges of her opening.
"Oh, oh, please!" she said, even her voice shuddering.
"This is what you want?" Joe asked, but didn't wait for an answer before he was slipping his middle finger inside, just a little, just to the first knuckle, but his finger was so much bigger than hers, and it was Joe's finger inside her body and his thumb was flicking so lightly back and forth across her clit and driving Nik so crazy that she lost it, jerked her hips down so that Joe's finger pressed in farther, filling her up, and she came. She'd never come like that before; hard and intense and seemingly forever. Having something inside her always made it really good, but having Joe inside her, with his mouth kissing the side of her neck, his lips hot and slick, and his smell all around her...it was like something completely different to what she'd been doing all this time, sneakily, in her cold bed all by herself.
If this was sex, it was so much better than Nikki had ever imagined. And right now, she didn't feel the tiniest shred of guilt about it. This was too wonderful a thing not to want.
It took a long time for all her tremors to subside, for her to stop twitching and gasping and her muscles inside to stop pulsing around Joe's finger. Joe had not withdrawn, which Nik was glad of; she liked the feeling of him in her. She thought she'd feel really empty when he finally did have to pull out again, so she held tight to his arm, keeping him where he was. She became aware, past her heavy breathing and the feeling of her heart pounding, that Joe was shifting restlessly behind her, his hips flexing every now and again, like he wanted not to, and just couldn't help it. Every tiny little movement rubbed the stiff, hard shape of his dick against the curve of her ass.
"Joe," she said, surprised at how thick and ragged her voice sounded, feeling like she couldn't quite make her tongue work right. Joe stilled behind her, guiltily. Nik just wriggled her hips a little back against him, which shifted his finger around inside her and made her gasp. Joe's breath hitched. "Y-you can," she whispered to him, hoping he would understand. She wasn't sure she even completely understood.
But Joe sighed, grateful and relieved, and he tucked his hips right up tight to hers and started...started humping her, his dick trapped between them and rubbing up against two layers of soft cotton. Every time he rode his hips up against hers, it pushed her forward a little, against Joe's fingers and the heel of his hand, and Nikki whimpered, oversensitive, still feeling alight with tingles. Joe tilted his hand back against her, gave her something to hump, too, and they got a quick, tight-knit little rhythm going, Joe's arm hugged around her tight and his breaths quick in her ear, tiny whimpering sounds knocked out of him every now and then.
"Nik, Nikki," he said suddenly, and his thrusting got a little harder, a little less even. "Oh god, Nikki, I can't--!" Nik gasped as Joe thrust against her nearly hard enough to jostle her over onto her stomach, rutting up once, twice, and then freezing, utterly still. Nik panted, desperate and pinned, feeling slow, seeping wet warmth spread over the front of Joe's boxers and the back of her shorts. She shivered, then again, harder, when Joe pressed his mouth to the curve of her neck and sucked. She keened softly.
After a few more seconds, his body relaxed, all his muscles slowly loosening again, and breathed out a heavy, damp sigh. He kissed the spot he'd just sucked, apologetic, and then his slick thumb was circling her clit again, slow and firm, and it was just enough to push Nikki over the edge again, falling almost in slow motion into another crashing orgasm, writhing in Joe's arm for a long, long minute.
***
Nikki woke up, again not realizing she'd fallen asleep, and Joe was still wrapped heavily around her, snoring very softly in her ear. His arm was still slung over her, dead weight, with his fingertips tucked in the waistband of her shorts, and there was light coming in around Nik's window shade, pale bluish predawn glow. She smiled sleepily and trailed her fingernails up and down Joe's forearm, utterly content, aching dully in places she'd never ached before. But she felt better. She felt...older. And she felt good. She thought, drowsily, that this must be what it must be like to be married: to wake up early next to the warm body of someone who made her feel better than anybody else in the world. She turned and kissed the tip of Joe's nose. There was nothing wrong with that arrangement, as far as she could see.
pairing: Joe/always-a-girl!Nick
rating: NC-17
warning: EVEN MORE incesty genderfuck! Also: religion. DUN DUN DUNNNN!!
summary: Instilling fear and incestuous tendencies in your children, one guilt trip at a time.
date: 10/23/10
notes: Again, this would NOT exist in any capacity without
theskyturnsred; after I finished Jo/Nick, she was like, "SO YOU'RE WRITING JOE/GIRL!NICK NOW, RIGHT?" And then I was. ^_^ <3Mom confronted Nikki about it after she found the nail polish bottles under her bed.
Nik had no earthly idea how her mom could possibly have known that was what she was using them for if she had not gotten up to the same kind of stuff as a fourteen-year-old herself. But it wouldn't be the first time Nik had inherited a rule in spite of breathtaking hypocrisy, and Nik knew it probably wouldn't be the last. But this was one of the worst.
Nikki lay curled up in her bed for the entire rest of the day after mom took her into her bedroom to have a long, firm talk with her, and all the words mom had used about sin and perversion and purity spun around in Nik's head, making her dizzy and crushing her with guilt. She'd cried for a long time, and refused both Kevin and Frankie entry when they came by to ask what was wrong.
Joe didn't come by until after Nik had had done crying, obviously knowing that she needed to get that out first. When she just lay there shivering and miserable afterward, then Joe let himself in, not asking permission and not waiting for Nikki to give it before clicking the door shut behind him and coming across the room to crawl in and curl up behind Nik, wrapping his arm around her waist, strong and secure. Nik took a shuddery breath, let it out.
"Wanna talk, Nikki?" Joe murmured, voice deep, even, and soothing.
Nik didn't reply for a long minute. Finally she said, "I don't wanna go to hell, Joey," in a voice that cracked despite her best efforts, to her embarrassment. She cleared her throat.
She could practically feel Joe's frown behind her. "Good," he said softly, rubbing gently at her stomach. "Cause you're not going."
Nik sighed, wishing she could smile, which was obviously Joe's goal. But she didn't have it in her. She lay there quietly for another several seconds, gathering up courage and trying to find the words through her thick embarrassment. "I...mom. She caught me, um. Like, uh. Do you ever. Um." She felt her face prickle with heat, lowered her tone to a whisper. "Do you ever...touch your privates, Joe?"
Joe blinked; Nik could feel his eyelashes catch gently against her hair. "Like, to make myself feel good? Have an orgasm? Of course I do. Everybody does."
Nik felt herself get a little tonguetied with Joe's bluntness, blushing even harder and turning her face into her pillow a little, half-hiding. "N-no. I don't...I don't think so, Joe. Or, well. Do you...don't you think it's a sin?"
"What? No, of course not. Nik...did mom catch you doing that?"
"...um. Not. Not exactly. She found..." She couldn't say it, couldn't actually tell her brother she was putting her nail polish bottles inside her own body, trying to get herself off. It didn't work all the time, even then, but they worked better than her fingers.
"A toy?" Joe asked, more softly, obviously conscious of her shyness. He petted at her long curls, all mussed and tangled from lying in her bed crying.
"Yeah. Sort of. N-nail polish." Nik thought she might die of embarrassment, but Joe only shifted a little, hugged her tighter, rubbing his nose into the hair at the back of her neck.
"Did she yell at you?" he asked, even more quietly. Nik's breath hitched painfully, hiccuping a little leftover sob even though she couldn't possibly cry anymore.
"She, she told me it was a sin. That...that god means us to keep ourselves pure for our husbands. She said...she said no boy would want d-damaged goods." Okay, well, apparently she could cry some more, tears welling up in her already-swollen eyes. "A-and that...that...masturbation was just another sex act, a step toward a bigger sin, and, and that made it a sin too." She said it like a dirty word; it tasted like one in her mouth.
"Oh, Nikki," Joe said, sounding sad. "No."
Nik sniffled a little, rubbing at her nose, not really wanting to cry in front of her brother, even though she knew he wouldn't mind. "No? But, Joe--"
"Nikki," he said again, and his voice was firm; not stern, not scolding, but not up for argument either. "Your body is God's most magnificent creation," he said, and even though it was something Nik had heard her dad, her Sunday school teachers, her Steven Curtis Chapman cds say a hundred thousand times before, it had never struck her as quite so inescapably true before. Joe said it like it was a part of who she was, like he was paying her a compliment. It made her blush some more, but much more from pleasure than embarrassment. "And God," he continued, "made your body to feel this stuff. Nothing that you're feeling is wrong or weird or abnormal, kiddo. You're just a normal teenage girl, and God doesn't want you to be ignorant about your body either. That's why He made it possible for you to touch yourself and figure out how your body works on your own. Because sex stuff can be really scary, and you should know as much as you possibly can about how you work so that you know when something's gone wrong. Y'know?"
Nik didn't agree, but she didn't argue either. That sounded reasonable, but...
"And besides," Joe said, in a softer tone, his breath stirring Nick's curls and making her shiver a little at the sensation, "God wouldn't have made it to feel so good if he didn't want us to feel good doing it. God doesn't make mistakes, Nikki, and he doesn't intentionally dangle good stuff in front of us only to tell us we can't have it. That's not the kind of God you wanna serve, right?"
Nik frowned, leaning back a little to look at Joe out of the corner of her eye. "But...what if it does make me do bigger, worse things?"
"Nik, you're the one in control of your own body," Joe told her, leaning up to kiss her cheek, a lock of his silky straightened hair falling down and brushing the corner of her mouth. "You're the one who makes the decisions about what you do and don't do with it. Your body doesn't just do stuff on its own, and doing one thing with it doesn't automatically mean something else will happen." He grinned. "You're a pretty smart girl, or so I've heard anyway. You're not gonna let your body get away with any shenanigans without your permission."
Nik rolled her eyes, finally managing a little quirk of her lips. Joe's grin broadened, like it was a personal triumph. "Joe. There will be no shenanigans of any kind," she said, in the dry tone she used when she was pretending not to find Joe ridiculously charming. He knew it, too, kissing her on the cheek once more, noisily.
"Awww, no shenanigans at all? You're a growing girl, Nikki. You have to have a few shenanigans in your life."
Nik frowned and shrunk a little in on herself. "No," she said quietly. "I think I'm really pretty much done with...shenanigans," she swallowed convulsively, "for the time being."
Joe's smile faltered and he moved his hand to her bicep, squeezing at her there, trying to be reassuring. But she was crestfallen, again, sunk into the mire of self-blame. "Aw, Nik," he said, propping his chin on her shoulder. "You can't be like that. You can't...you can't let mom and dad get to you like that. It's..." He made a frustrated sound. "It's easy for them to say this stuff about how you should live your life. They don't have to deal with the stuff you do. They aren't teenagers anymore. They're married. They've got 'the right' outlets for the feelings you and me have to deal with every day. They've made their mistakes and their choices, and they think...I dunno, that that qualifies them to make those same decisions for you, just to stop you maybe making mistakes. That's no way to live your life, Nikki. They think they're doin' you a favor, but..." He sighed, shook Nik's shoulder a little.
"Don't be scared, Nikki, okay? You're doing...you're doing fine. You're such a good person. You're my favorite person, you know?" His voice was a little gruff with emotion, and Nikki just wanted to turn into his arms, bury her face in his chest like she used to do when she was five, and just not have to face anything scary again. She didn't, though, just lay there still and quiet, feeling afraid even with Joe telling her not to. "I don't want you to grow up freaked out by your own body, Nik. It's...you're so normal, you just have no idea. I know that probably does not help as much as it should, because, hello, you're Nicolette Jonas, you are a special snowflake genius child prodigy, you don't do normal. But you are. You're just like...just like me, and Kev, and mom and dad when they were our age, and you've got to grow up into your own person, Nikki, who makes her own decisions about herself. I mean...I mean, think of it this way," he tried, rubbing at her arm with her thumb. "When you do grow up someday, and you get married to your Prince Charming, don't you want to be happy with him? Like, with the sex you have with him?" Nik squirmed a bit uncomfortably, embarrassed, but Joe pressed on. "And how is he supposed to know what makes you happy if you don't even know, yourself? If it helps, you can think of it like that. Like...practice for marriage."
Nik didn't have a good argument for why that was wrong, Joe, that's not the way it's done, but she knew it just wasn't that simple. Couldn't be. Not after being torn open and laid bare by her mom; she couldn't escape the dirty feeling of it now. She thought she might never escape it.
"Maybe," she offered, but mostly in a way that meant, Whatever, Joe. Just leave it be. Joe sighed. Then he nodded and kissed her hair once more, wrapping both his arms tight around Nikki's tiny waist and hugging her tightly, squirming a little bit with her like he was trying to wrestle her around. Nik went obligingly dead-weight in his arms, making Joe huff out in exertion, laughing. "Oof, Nicolette Snowflake. You got big on me. I don't remember giving you permission to grow up."
"It was in the fine print of the Brotherhood Contract you signed when I was born," Nik replied on autopilot, appreciating her brother's effort, even if it didn't quite nestle down next to her heart like usual. "Shoulda got a better lawyer, Josephine."
He laughed, quiet, subdued, but genuine. He ruffled her hair the way she hated and propped up on one elbow, patting her hip. "C'mon, Nikki. Wanna go downstairs for dinner?"
Nik immediately shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I'm not hungry."
"Aw, c'mon, Nikki--"
"Joe. I'm not hungry." Her voice was a little bit hard in warning. Joe took it, though he sighed again.
"Alright. I'll come back and check on you later." Joe swung his legs over the side of the bed and Nik heard him padding across her floor, felt the change in the air circulation as he opened the door. "Hey, Nikki?"
"I love you too, Joseph," she said, soft and affectionate. "Thank you."
"Anytime, little sis."
***
Nikki didn't mean to fall asleep, but her eyes felt itchy and heavy and she was exhausted from crying. The next thing she knew, she was opening her eyes groggily to see that her alarm clock read 12:42 in dim lime green and something had woken her up from an uneasy sleep.
"Nikki?" came the Joe-like whisper, and even half-asleep, Nik smiled. She reached back, uncoordinated, and plucked up the blankets behind her, flipping them down and patting the bed. The mattress dipped and Joe slid in behind Nik again, Nikki's head swimming a little with deja vu as Joe spooned up close behind her. He felt warmer than he had before and Nik wondered if he'd come from his bed. She reached back to tuck him in and felt the soft, worn cotton of an old t-shirt and boxers, so she guessed he had.
"'S this your checkup?" Nik asked him, voice gruff with sleep, her smile tugging up her lips.
"Yup," Joe said, quietly cheerful, banding her waist around with his arm again, burrowing his hand with its too-cold fingers up under her shirt to press against her sleep-warm belly. She hissed and jerked backwards a little, nesting her ass into the cradle of Joe's thighs. She could feel his dick soft under his shorts against the back of her thigh and quickly thought about his cold hand instead.
"Jeez, Joe," she muttered, scowling, and Joe sniggered behind her, because he was twelve. "Ugh. I don't even know why I like you."
"Because I am a sexy beast," Joe said. "Also, you're obligated."
"Definitely it's the sexiness that won me over," Nik said sarcastically, smoothing her shirt down over his hand. They lay there quietly for a while, Joe's fingers trailing idly up and down her belly, tracing her navel and making goosebumps pop up on her skin. Then Nikki said, "So how mad were mom and dad?"
"Dunno," Joe said, shrugging, but Nik knew that wasn't true; that was just Joe's way of trying to protect her. She waited him out; eventually, he said, "I guess, on a scale of 'that time I broke the lamp' to 'that time Kevin decided to go to a state school and study fashion', you probably rank...'that time I made all Fs on a report card.'" He squeezed her a little, rucking up her shirt again and ignoring her protests just so he could trace big spirals on her stomach. She shivered and relaxed. "It's not so bad, Nikki. Really. I think...mom realizes she overreacted. She was really quiet and seemed worried when you didn't come down to dinner. You do need to get up and eat something soon, by the way," he added, poking her in the belly and making her curl up a little, ticklish. "I made you a plate of food and stuck it in the fridge."
"Thanks, Joe," she said, patting his hand on her belly. "I will. And thanks for...covering for me."
"Pfft, I didn't cover for you," he said loftily. "I told mom you were being an emo kid and that I'd told you to cheer up but, as usual, you didn't listen." He sighed sadly, put-upon. "I'm so unappreciated, even by my own little sister."
Nick elbowed him none-too-gently, and Joe retaliated by digging his fingers into her ribs ticklishly, making her squeak and wriggle, trying to get away. "Joe! Joe! C-cut it out!" She giggled and squirmed, more so when Joe's hands grazed over her boobs in her soft knockaround bra, accidentally. "Joe! Seriously!"
"Joe! Seriously!" Joe imitated, in terrible falsetto. He playfully grabbed at Nik's boobs, something he'd done a hundred times before, but Nik, on edge already and unprepared to steel herself against her body's reactions, the way she normally would be, shuddered. "Joe," she said in a softer, helpless voice, and Joe stilled, dropping his hand and settling it on her stomach again.
"It's okay, Nikki," he replied, soothing, in a voice he'd used to calm Nik down after a thousand upsets and disappointments and tantrums. He petted softly at her stomach. "I didn't mean to make you upset."
She didn't say anything, letting Joe's easy ability to read her mind comfort her for a minute or two, until she asked in a tiny voice, "Do...do you think I'm...weird, Joe?"
Joe shook his head. "I told you you aren't, Nik."
"But...do you think that?"
"No," he said immediately. "No, Nikki. I think you're completely perfect in every way. And I think you're too hard on yourself. And I think mom was way too hard on you. And I think you shouldn't let this bother you too much. Mom was wrong about this, okay? I'm telling you. Mom was wrong, and you are not weird. And you're not going to hell or anyplace you don't wanna go just because you're a normal human who likes to make herself feel good. You know I do it."
Nik nodded a little. She'd sort of known. Guessed, really. She didn't know anything specific, though.
"You did know that, right?" Joe asked, making sure.
"Um. Well. I mean. I thought you did, I just...I mean. I wasn't sure if you still did, or if it's just something you did when you were my age, or..."
Joe laughed a little, but it wasn't mocking. "No. I still do. Most people do their whole lives, I'm pretty sure."
Nik's eyes widened. "What, even when they're married?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Joe replied, shrugging. His fingers, always restless because Joe himself was always restless, had gone back to tracing circles on her stomach. "I mean, sometimes your husband or your wife's not there, right?"
"Ummm..." Nik flushed, but she couldn't deny the logic of that.
"And besides, you can still learn things just about yourself, and what you like, even when you're married. Practice makes perfect, Nicolette, after all. I was taught that by a very brilliant sister of mine." He hugged her tight around the middle, nosing at the nape of her neck. She tried not to shiver at how his breath tickled her sensitive skin.
"I guess so," Nik said, a little dubious, but she felt...better, for the first time all day. She felt okay in her skin again, with Joe holding her tight and just...talking about this, like it wasn't nearly as scary as she'd been making it. "So, like...how often do you do it? Is it weird to do it too much?"
"No such thing as too much," Joe said, with utter sincerity. "It's kinda...however much you feel like, y'know? There's not a limit on it. I do it pretty much every day."
Nik bit her lip. "S-so, it's okay if I do it...more than once a day, sometimes? Um."
Joe's fingers stilled on Nik's stomach, and then started moving again after a second, skimming along the strip of bare skin where her pajama shirt gapped above the waistband of her sleep shorts. Nikki's stomach muscles jumped a little, and Joe nodded.
"Yeah, Nik. It's totally okay." She heard Joe wet her lips. "Do you...usually use your nail polish bottles?"
"Mm...sometimes," Nik replied, barely above a whisper. "They're, um. They feel better," she admitted, feeling her blush so hot it was almost unbearable. She couldn't believe she was telling her brother all this, but he just seemed so relaxed about it. Like it really was normal. "Than, than my fingers."
"So you, um." Nik wondered if now Joe was blushing, too, and she almost rolled over to try to tell, to press her knuckles to his face to feel if it was hot. But then she would have had to be looking straight at him, and she didn't think she could manage that. "You like having things inside, then?"
Nik frowned, kind of confused by the question. "That's the way you do it, right? Put things in? Like...well. Like you're pretending it's a boy, right?"
Joe did not immediately reply to that. He shifted a little, moving around beneath the blankets, and then he said softly, like a secret, "That's one way."
Surprised, Nik blinked. She was suddenly very aware of Joe's hot fingertips where they'd stuttered to a stop just below her bellybutton. "There's more than one way?"
Joe puffed out a shaky-sounding breath. "Yeah. Kind of, I mean. Some girls like it better if they just rub their clit and don't, y'know. Put stuff in."
"How do you know?" Nik asked Joe, somewhat tartly. She didn't think it exactly fair that Joe should know something about girls touching themselves that Nik didn't even know, considering Joe was a boy. She did not want to think about how he might've learned those things, either.
"I hear things!" Joe teased. "Guys at school talk. Girls too, sometimes. And...I had a class, too. Mom probably never gave you a class like I had."
"What kind of class was it? And what's a...what'd you say to rub?"
"Your clit?"
Nik was silent, frowning as she tried to figure out what Joe was talking about. The silence was just getting awkward when Joe said, "You don't know what that is?"
Sighing, Nikki rolled away from him a little, scrunching up on herself. She hated being the dumb one, hated not knowing things. Joe made an unhappy noise and moved closer to her again, curling around her almost protectively.
"No, Nikki, I just meant...I thought you knew. It's okay, it's just...your clit is..." He trailed off. "Here," he said softly, tucking his fingertips just under the waistband of Nik's shorts, and before she even knew what he was doing, he'd slid his hand down, cupping it over her gently, not so different from the way Nik touched herself, only her panties were still in the way. She sucked in a sharp breath and flinched back a little.
"Joe, what're you...?"
"I just wanna show you," he said, kissing the back of her head. Nik felt scared and unsure, her skin tingling under Joe's warm fingers, even through the fabric of her underwear. Her whole body tingled. "It's here," he said, and pressed the tip of one of his fingers against her, not back where she normally touched herself, higher up, setting off more tingles and making Nik grab reflexively at his wrist in a bruising grip. "In here."
"I..." Nick bit at her lip. Her fingers loosened around Joe's arm a little. "What. What is it?"
"It feels good," Joe told her quietly, murmuring against her hair. The sound of his voice made her feel less jittery, but she was trembling everywhere, heart hammering. This was bad, this was a sin, this wasn't okay.
It was Joe. Joe had never once not taken care of Nikki.
She swallowed, pressed back a little into Joe. He pressed at her a little harder through her panties, rubbing a tiny bit. Nik gasped.
"Oh," she breathed. It felt...different. More. Bigger. It wasn't the same at all, and it was exactly the same.
"Feels good, right?" Joe asked her in a whisper. Nik nodded immediately, not even stopping to think about it. She could feel Joe smile, and his finger started tracing little circles against her that made shivers race up and down Nik's spine. "Better?"
"Oh, y-yeah, um..." Nik's fingers flexed around Joe's arm, tightening convulsively. She felt like she should push him away, but she didn't actually want to, so she mostly just ended up clinging onto him. "Joe..."
"You can do just this, if you want," Joe murmured quietly. "Or you can do this and put something inside, too. Whatever feels good, Nikki. It's all right." Joe slid his finger up and down against that radiating point that Nik had not even known was there, and then pressed at her with two fingers. Nik made a tiny helpless little sound and moved her hips against his hand involuntarily, grinding against the pressure.
"Nikki," Joe said, sounding out of breath, and as he curled even tighter around her, she felt that his dick was hard against the back of her leg. She gasped, quivering as that made her flush wet down between her legs, without really even understanding why. She understood, though, that that was what a boy felt like before he got inside. That was "erect." She'd never really known what that meant until then.
Joe's fingers slipped against the wet fabric of her panties, now soaked through, making them slick. He hooked his thumb in the waistband of her underwear and tugged it down a little, out of the way, sliding his fingertips down the slit of her body. Suddenly one of his fingertips went in, between her folds, and brushed up against her clit, skin to skin. It made her jump and cry out softly. Joe shushed her very gently, pressing his mouth, warm and wet and open, to the back of her neck, just mouthing there.
"Joe! Joe, that's..." Nikki bit her lip and tried not to rut up against his hand too frantically, wanting that good feeling back.
"Yeah, baby girl, it's okay," Joe intoned, soothing. "Let me." The next time he touched his fingertip to her clit, it was slick and wet, and he only brushed against it so delicately, circling it with maddening little touches. "You gotta be really really gentle. You're really sensitive." He said it almost wonderingly, like he hadn't been expecting that. Nik shuddered involuntarily every time he swept his finger directly over it, whining in her throat and jerking her hips both toward and away from his hand, not sure exactly which she wanted.
"Joe," she whispered, pressing on his hand a little, the way his fingers felt inside her slick folds making her feel desperate for...something. "Joe, I want..." But she didn't know what she wanted, couldn't articulate it.
"Yeah?" he prompted, but seemed to understand after a moment that she had no idea what to say. "Aw, Nikki. See? You gotta learn about this stuff. You wanna know what feels best." He kissed the corner of her jaw, hooking his chin over her shoulder so that there was practically no inch of them not touching. "Do you get yourself off, ever?"
"Huh?" Nik asked, both dizzy from the sensations and unsure what Joe meant by that.
"Do you orgasm?" he corrected himself, voice dipping low - probably out of embarrassment, but the gravelly quality of it sent a hard shiver down Nik's spine and straight to her groin. She moaned and nodded helplessly.
"Y-yeah. Sometimes. Maybe...twice? Or three times?"
"That's all?" Joe said, sounding sad. "Don't you like it?"
"I...it's hard. To do. I like it, but..."
"Hmm," Joe said thoughtfully, and he pushed his hand a little farther into her underwear, forefinger and middle finger slipping down and his thumb coming to touch lightly at her clit instead. Nik dug her fingers involuntarily into Joe's forearm, writhing a little and tipping her head back on Joe's shoulder as he teased at the edges of her opening.
"Oh, oh, please!" she said, even her voice shuddering.
"This is what you want?" Joe asked, but didn't wait for an answer before he was slipping his middle finger inside, just a little, just to the first knuckle, but his finger was so much bigger than hers, and it was Joe's finger inside her body and his thumb was flicking so lightly back and forth across her clit and driving Nik so crazy that she lost it, jerked her hips down so that Joe's finger pressed in farther, filling her up, and she came. She'd never come like that before; hard and intense and seemingly forever. Having something inside her always made it really good, but having Joe inside her, with his mouth kissing the side of her neck, his lips hot and slick, and his smell all around her...it was like something completely different to what she'd been doing all this time, sneakily, in her cold bed all by herself.
If this was sex, it was so much better than Nikki had ever imagined. And right now, she didn't feel the tiniest shred of guilt about it. This was too wonderful a thing not to want.
It took a long time for all her tremors to subside, for her to stop twitching and gasping and her muscles inside to stop pulsing around Joe's finger. Joe had not withdrawn, which Nik was glad of; she liked the feeling of him in her. She thought she'd feel really empty when he finally did have to pull out again, so she held tight to his arm, keeping him where he was. She became aware, past her heavy breathing and the feeling of her heart pounding, that Joe was shifting restlessly behind her, his hips flexing every now and again, like he wanted not to, and just couldn't help it. Every tiny little movement rubbed the stiff, hard shape of his dick against the curve of her ass.
"Joe," she said, surprised at how thick and ragged her voice sounded, feeling like she couldn't quite make her tongue work right. Joe stilled behind her, guiltily. Nik just wriggled her hips a little back against him, which shifted his finger around inside her and made her gasp. Joe's breath hitched. "Y-you can," she whispered to him, hoping he would understand. She wasn't sure she even completely understood.
But Joe sighed, grateful and relieved, and he tucked his hips right up tight to hers and started...started humping her, his dick trapped between them and rubbing up against two layers of soft cotton. Every time he rode his hips up against hers, it pushed her forward a little, against Joe's fingers and the heel of his hand, and Nikki whimpered, oversensitive, still feeling alight with tingles. Joe tilted his hand back against her, gave her something to hump, too, and they got a quick, tight-knit little rhythm going, Joe's arm hugged around her tight and his breaths quick in her ear, tiny whimpering sounds knocked out of him every now and then.
"Nik, Nikki," he said suddenly, and his thrusting got a little harder, a little less even. "Oh god, Nikki, I can't--!" Nik gasped as Joe thrust against her nearly hard enough to jostle her over onto her stomach, rutting up once, twice, and then freezing, utterly still. Nik panted, desperate and pinned, feeling slow, seeping wet warmth spread over the front of Joe's boxers and the back of her shorts. She shivered, then again, harder, when Joe pressed his mouth to the curve of her neck and sucked. She keened softly.
After a few more seconds, his body relaxed, all his muscles slowly loosening again, and breathed out a heavy, damp sigh. He kissed the spot he'd just sucked, apologetic, and then his slick thumb was circling her clit again, slow and firm, and it was just enough to push Nikki over the edge again, falling almost in slow motion into another crashing orgasm, writhing in Joe's arm for a long, long minute.
***
Nikki woke up, again not realizing she'd fallen asleep, and Joe was still wrapped heavily around her, snoring very softly in her ear. His arm was still slung over her, dead weight, with his fingertips tucked in the waistband of her shorts, and there was light coming in around Nik's window shade, pale bluish predawn glow. She smiled sleepily and trailed her fingernails up and down Joe's forearm, utterly content, aching dully in places she'd never ached before. But she felt better. She felt...older. And she felt good. She thought, drowsily, that this must be what it must be like to be married: to wake up early next to the warm body of someone who made her feel better than anybody else in the world. She turned and kissed the tip of Joe's nose. There was nothing wrong with that arrangement, as far as she could see.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 12:52 am (UTC)and hot. so freaking hot.
UNF.
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Date: 2010-10-29 05:23 am (UTC)Lots of people write Nick/girl!Joe but no one ever writes Joe/girl!Nick AND THIS IS BASICALLY THE BEST THING EVER.
Joe is the best big brother.
Also, UNFFFFF. TOO MUCH HOT.
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Date: 2010-10-29 05:27 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-10-29 09:04 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-11-15 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-15 01:04 am (UTC)HEE, I'm so very happy you enjoyed it. I love writing prissy!Ni(c)k, girl or boy. There is never a time when that will not be magical. And I would be VERY happy to write more of this, but at present do not actually have ideas! I NEVER HAVE IDEAS, but I'm always happy to take a crack at other people's, js. >:3
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Date: 2010-11-15 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2012-02-03 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-18 05:48 pm (UTC)